在这里Hotessay小编先举一个例子帮助大家理解什么的failure essay才是好essay。
申请者正准备set up一个全新的manufacturing unit,然后预订收到了来自客户的预订单。但是,非常不幸的是,这笔订单的运送就晚了2个星期。这个小故事看起来,应该是个真正意义上的failure了吧!那让我们看看,到底什么是好的Failure Essay的写法,什么不是。请大家先读下下面这3种不同的写法:
1 Weak:
I did everything flawlessly on my end tosuccessfully launch the manufacturing unit but due to circumstances outside ofmy control,I was unable to launch on my targeted start date and lost 70%ofthe business from pre-booked orders.
2 Average:
Despite my best efforts,I was unable toconvince the supplier to deliver the machinery in time and was faced withcustomers who wanted to cancel their orders.Realizing the erosion in brandthat could result from such a move,I offered to discount each pre-booked orderby 50%in order to compensate my customers for the inconvenience.
3 Strong:
Despite my best efforts,I was unable toconvince the supplier to deliver the machinery in time and was faced withcustomers who wanted to cancel their orders.Realizing the erosion in brand thatcould result from such a move,I offered to discount each pre-booked order by50%in order to compensate my customers for the inconvenience.As a result,Iwas able to salvage 80%of the orders and mitigate the loss of brand value.This incident taught me the importance of adhering to project schedules andhaving contingency plans in place to provide for extenuating circumstancesoutside of my control.
看完了这3个不同的回答,我想大家心里已经有了杆秤。下面和大家一起分析下,这3个回答的区别点到底在哪里。
Response 1:
一看这个小短文,就知道作者对由自己的错误造成的这个failure并没有进行深刻的反省。他还把这个错误blame到周围的环境去。从他的回答中,我们感受到的是怎样一个人呢?一个不愿意将困难的环境转换成一个opportunity的人。所以,这样的Essay是万万不可取的,哪个学校想要个没有责任感的人来做未来的leader呢。
Reponse 2:
这个短文比上面一个就进步了很多。从文章中,我们是能够看出applicant的正能量的。他积极努力的在做一些事情,去为自己的failure负责,去挽回局面。
但是,这个文章,还少了那么一点点。少了从这个故事中学习到的learning和对事情的自我反思。而这个恰恰是Adcom的人想从申请者身上看到的
Reponse 3:
这篇短文,不但写出了他是如何直面问题的,而且,更重要的是,写出了从这个事情中学习到了什么。文章中体现的精神正是Adcom的人想看到的,always go better,make things happen。所以,这是个成功的写法,值得借鉴和学习。
希望上面的这3个小的snippets,能让大家对如何写好Failure Essay有个很好的切身感受。
留学生如何写好FailureEssay
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