留学Essay写作保持语言得体很重要

　　今天我们要给大家讨论的话题是如何让essay文章语言得体（Appropriate Language），大家可以看一下，如果是自己要独立完成<a href="http://www.lxw***/new.php?id=2175">essay写作</a>的话也非常有用。

　　1.避免过量使用行话（Jargon）

　　行话是指在某行某业内的一些专业用语，适用范围及其狭隘，其目的是为了增加沟通的效率，如果在行业之外使用，其目的不是为了inform，而是为了impress，所以尽量不要使用，无论是行内还是行外，如果普通英语能够表达出来的东西，不要用行话。大家看一下下面的例子：

　　We outsourced the work to a firm in Ohio because we didn’t have the bandwidth to tackle it in-house.

　　修改之后：We hired a company in Ohio because we had too few employees to do the work.

　　如果行话用的过多，会使得文字生涩难懂，而且非常啰嗦，大家看下下面的例子：

　　All employees functioning in the capacity of work-study students are required to give evidence of current enrollment.

　　修改之后：All work-study students must prove that they are currently enrolled.

　　The CEO should dialogue with investors about partnering with clients to buy land in economically deprived zones.

　　修改之后：The CEO should talk with investors about working with clients to buy land in poor neighborhoods.

　　下面的单词或者词组经常在商业、高等教育、政府文件中出现，括号中是普通英语：

　　ameliorate(improve)

　　indicator(sign)

　　commence(begin)

　　optimal(best,most favorable)

　　components(parts)

　　parameters(boundaries,limits)

　　endeavor(try)

　　peruse(read,look over)

　　facilitate(help)

　　prior to(before)

　　impact(v.)(affect)

　　utilize(use)

　　2.避免堆砌“高大上”的词，过分装饰

　　很多留学生都以为用上一些高大上的词，就可以让essay写作看起来更有逼格，其实不然，过分地“装饰”会使得文章意思生涩难懂，达不到写作“达意”的目的，大家看下下面的例子：

　　Taylor’s employment of multihued means of expression draws back the curtains and lets slip the sentimental vantage point from which she observes American society as well as her lack of comprehension of economic realities.

　　修改之后：Taylor’s use of colorful language reveals that she has a sentimental view of American society and does not understand economic realities.

　　委婉语是为了达到礼貌的效果，但是很多委婉语同时也是非常模糊的，达到了掩藏现实的目的（政治场合中尤为常见）比如说：

　　adult entertainment(pornography)

　　preowned automobile(used car)

　　economically deprived(poor)

　　strategic withdrawal(retreat or defeat)

　　revenue enhancers(taxes)

　　chemical dependency(drug addiction)

　　downsize(lay off,fire)

　　correctional facility(prison)

　　3.避免使用俚语以及不正规英语

　　俚语非常不正式，主要用在青少年、球迷、音乐家等群体间，变化速度非常快，有些俚语也有可能会慢慢变成正规的英语（比如说Jazz这个词），尽管俚语非常生动，但是只有某一群体才能听懂，所以在书面语中，尽量不要使用。

　　When the server crashed unexpectedly,three hours of unsaved data went down the tubes.

　　修改之后：When the server crashed unexpectedly,we lost three hours of unsaved data.

　　4.避免使用不正式语言

　　正式程度取决于文章话题以及目标读者，在绝大多数的学术写作中，语言偏正式。非正式的文体一般用于私人信件、短信、以及熟悉的商业伙伴之间。在选择正式程度的时候，文章前后一定要一致。咱们来看一个例子，大家首先看看问题在哪里：

　　Once a pitcher for the Blue Jays,Jorge shared with me the secrets began of his trade.His lesson commenced with his famous curveball,implemented by tucking the little finger behind the ball.Next he elucidated the mysteries of the sucker pitch,a slow ball coming behind a fast windup.

　　修改之后：Once a pitcher for the Blue Jays,Jorge shared with me the secrets began of his trade.His lesson began with his famous curveball,thrown by tucking the little finger behind the ball.Next he revealed the mysteries of the sucker pitch,a slow ball coming behind a fast windup.

　　5.避免性别歧视的语言

　　理由大家都知道，这类语言往往是由于一些固有的偏见（stereotypes），大家看一下下面的例子：

　　After a nursing student graduates,she must face a difficult state board examination.【并不是所有的护士都是女性】

　　Running for city council are Boris Stotsky,an attorney,and Mrs.Cynthia Jones,a professor of English and mother of three.【Mrs.以及mother of three这些语言是没有必要的】

　　有些性别歧视的语言来源于过时的传统，比如说：

　　A journalist is motivated by his deadline.【现在一般使用his or her，但是更好的修改方法是使用复数：Journalists are motivated by their deadlines.或者改变说法：A journalist is motivated by a deadline.】

　　有许多词本身就性别歧视，这些名词现已经改变，更加中性（括号里是更加中性的词）：

　　chairman(chairperson,moderator,chair,head)

　　congressman(member of Congress,representative,legislator)

　　fireman(firefighter)

　　foreman(supervisor)

　　mailman(mail carrier,postal worker,letter carrier)

　　to man(to operate,to staff)

　　mankind(people,humans)

　　manpower(personnel,staff)

　　policeman(police officer)

　　weatherman(forecaster,meteorologist)